• Megg

January Blues & Terrible Twos

Updated: Jan 11, 2019

I dont and never have liked January, Its like the Monday of the Months isn't it?

Its dark, Cold and everyone is trying to get fit and eat healthy when reality is all you want to do it sit in front of the TV with a cosy blanket, kids in bed and a large G&T, am I right?

So this January I am back at work and in the travel industry it is what we call peak - its madness, everyone wants to book their summer holidays and everyone wants a bargain price because its January and well, I dont blame them! come on in and take a seat, I find myself talking all things Cruise and then out of nowhere I am discussing my child's latest tantrums, Her favourite toys and what she likes to eat. Does anyone else do this? drift off into mummy chat without realising it.

My colleagues used to look at me like "what the hell is this to do with the panama canal?" Well absolutely nothing but it entertains people. Strangers find my antics and tales of my daughters latest meltdowns and tantrums hilarious and the more they laugh the more I keep talking.

So I will share with you lovely lot our most recent public tantrum.

Like butter wouldn't melt! Just before we left the house.

I took Grace to the post office with me to send some eBay parcels as you do and being the little socialite she is she ran off to make friends with another toddler in the line, perfect! shes being good as gold, even when it was time to leave. My mum works around the corner in a local law firm and Grace is my mums shadow, literally could have been her child not mine. We go to visit mummy dearest and of course Grace runs straight up to her and clings to her. "lets go home now Grace" "NO" can you see where I am going with this?

After a tug of war between me and grace to get her off my mother and into my arms I made a dash for the car park, a screaming, wriggling toddler under my arm, Its chucking it down and I put her down in COOP car park to rummage in my bag for the car keys... She throws herself onto the wet car park floor, kicking and screaming. I am getting 'the look' from the old people passing ( you know the look, every toddler parent knows this look of disgust when their child is being, to put it politely a "Turdler" )

I battle in the pouring rain to pick her up and get her into the car seat - we even have one of those Maxi Cosi swivel ones (The Axiss) just to make life easier. Not today. So after pinning her down into the car seat and rapidly trying to fasten the straps for fear of her throwing herself out of it, I finally manage to get going. Its a mere 15 minute drive home in rush hour from this little town, and for 10 minutes of that all I can hear is screaming and kicking from the backseat. Then silence, Just as we pull up to the house at 5 pm in the evening my child has decided to fall asleep.

Fan - Bloody - Tastic!

I try my best to carry the ticking time bomb into the living room and onto the sofa, I dont think I took a single breathe until I had laid her down and walked a few steps away. Hallelujah! I make a start on dinner whilst Grace danger naps and I may have even done a little victory dance at getting her into the house without waking her. I am dancing around chopping onions to *Cringe* Spice up your life and I turn around and see a very unhappy face staring back at me. Really! She starts whinging instantly and I try to bribe her with food only to get said food chucked back at me followed by more screaming.

That pretty much sums up January for me. Oh wait I forgot to to mention how broke everyone is, I mean its been 4 weeks since I last got paid - And another 3 weeks until the end of January, Its never ending, but the nappy stack is. Thank goodness for Tesco! They just know! £3.75 for pampers. Don't all rush at once :)

For those of you that did not just rush out the room in a mad dash for your local Tesco, Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope it relates to some of you. To those who cannot relate, I am sorry I used the word 'Bloody' and 'Gin' but read again in 12 months time when your tiny, perfect babies become wild, untamed toddlers and you will get it I promise!

May your Coffee be as strong as your toddlers this January Mums & Dads.


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