No one tells you how lonely it can be...
When you first see that positive line an overwhelming feeling of excitement and love rushes through you and for the next nine months its shopping trips, lunches, date nights and afternoon tea. your then handed this perfect newborn and everyone wants to join in and surround you with love and well wishes, the door knocking and distant relatives and old friends crowd around to see your new arrival and in those moments you crave to be alone, just you and your new unconditional love.
Weeks and months pass and those visitors lessen, the attention has drifted from you and your new family member and you start to feel a little relieved as you settle into motherhood and find your happy place, your routine. You get to know your baby, and look forward to the baby groups once or twice a week, the social meetings at the local soft play for hot tea and cake. It feels great, I could get used to this, nattering with fellow parents about our birth stories, how we hate the HV or like them, how our babies are hitting their milestones and if and when we will return to work.
I returned to work, in fact all us 'sensory ' mums as we called our group chat, we all returned to work around the same time. The weekly meet ups became two weekly and then once a month and now we rarely get together at all, We are all so busy with working, with toddlers and trying to conceive that all important second child to prevent child A from becoming a 'brat' as my grandparents would say. ( not all only child's are brats, you know what the older generation are like) The only group we now attend is swimming lessons on a Monday morning and if I can get out of bed before 8 am we go to a toddler playgroup on Wednesdays. I often wonder how did it get so lonely? I started influencing and product reviewing in my spare time when my other half works away and grace is in bed. I find meeting up with mum friends is hard, and meeting up with my best friends even harder.
I know when you have a child you often realise who your true friends are, well mine are pretty awesome, they have been there throughout my pregnancy and still there for me today with only one slight problem... Robert and I wanted to bring Grace up in the countryside where I grew up and that meant moving 150 miles away from my girls and although they come and stay its not the same. I do get lonely, I wish I was back in that newborn bubble and I would embrace all the attention, all the visitors wanting cuddles and bringing cake.
Does anyone else feel this way? The lost friendships, the distant relatives that only bother when its a special occasion, does it get easier once they reach school age? The thought of clicky mums at the school gates worries me is that a thing? I will be that mum that drops off late and picks up late rushing around like a mad woman, I choose to work for the sanity, the adult conversations and to be clean for a whole 8 hours without getting covered in sticky hand prints and play doh. Either way if your a working mum or stay at home mum I think parenting can be just as lonely for both, I have found Instagram mums & dads a fantastic support and If anyone local wants to meet up at soft play hell or otherwise give me a shout